" Killing" by Andre Dubus

It must be hard to lose a child. My brother passed away several years ago, and it is still very hard to think about. I cannot begin to think of how much pain Matt must have been in. To live with seeing this man every day, walking the streets free, living his life and the only hope of easing this horrific pain for Matt and Ruth was that one day the man who brought their world crashing down would die too. That somehow his death would ease the pain of losing their child. It must have been a great torment to see this man every day. To know if it had not been for this man, their child would still be alive. Not only did Matt have to try and deal with the unthinkable pain of losing his son, he also had to deal with seeing the pain on his wife’s face. The pain she had to endure of seeing this man walking around, breathing, living his life, knowing that her son could no longer do the same. I know, for me, seeing my brother’s wife and in my heart knowing she must have had something to do with his death, sometimes is more than I can bear.  I don’t think I could ever kill someone, but I certainly understand why he would want to. Matt was a wonderful husband and a good father, constantly worrying, as most parents do, for his children’s safety, keeping a watchful eye on their every move until one day, their all grown up.  I would have liked to think that when it came down to it Matt would not have been able to pull the trigger.  However, that all changed when he walked over and shot Strout in the head. Up until this time he had broken a few laws but ones he might have been able to live with. Once he pulled that trigger for the last time he assured his life was over. Matt is still living and breathing, but now instead of having to live with one death, he has to live with two. Matt will live with the memory of this night for the rest of his life. The question is can his heart live with this memory.